Speculating on success in sculpture?

Wow two posts in less than a year? I must really have something lighting my ass on fire. . .

So hey all my disciples out there! How’s everybody doing? (Hello Cleveland!)

This is a project post– so although my introduction is positive, I assure you it’s only for the forthcoming subjects.

I’ve been working on a pair of steampunk goggles for a very very long time now and am proud to think that I’ve full wrapped my head around the concept I’m looking for. These goggles will have atleast one telescopic eye piece (no easy thing to build from scratch, mind you), so any of the crafts people out there that actually do happen to read this, might have a little better understanding of the difficulty than some others.

On another note, I’ve decided to use all of the money I once received from birthday’s and the like (really any cash I still have kicking around) and put it towards clay and general sculpting supplies. I know what you’re thinking– it’s not really a good use of money, simply because there aren’t many that actually have the skills and/or talent to make this sort of project worthwhile. You’re probably right, but I read something recently that basically boiled down to the idea that people new to sculpting are generally going to suck, and suck for a long time. So to me, that adds a kind of safety net to my confidence- if I know without a doubt that square one is sucking the ass off of a donkey, than the only way to go is up, right?

. . .

One note I will say towards my personal feelings on that last bit. I don’t believe I’ve ever felt like I should be starting at literal square one with most things.

Everything I’ve done or tried before, I’ve always seemed to instantly and seamlessly put myself, and my skill level, up just one notch above beginner– or more than one notch with some things, it was just instinctual. Technology, I’ve always felt I had an inherent skill towards understanding the fundamentals of things. Drawing, I’ve always been able to visualize in my mind exactly what I wanted to create, even if that usually ended in a torturous frustration of not being able to let anyone else see what I had in my mind.

But I have always praised myself and my skills all too much on something with an attitude of, “Shut up baby, I know it.” and tended to begin something entirely new with a kind of bravado I guess, and shoved anyone’s negative opinions or mannerisms to the wayside (positive thoughts tended to me looking at something as finished, particularly in drawings). Sculpting on the other hand is something that, even with all of the research I’ve done, I still will never be able to be anything more than realistic about it.

Maybe my attempts at, and interest in, sculpting will be nothing short of laying all my cards on the table?

Iaminyourveins!

G-nome

Preamble to a better point of view. . .

So listen all, I think this post is going to be pretty depressing- so if you aren’t up for me pouring things out here, you might as well just stop reading right here.

Who am I kidding though, no one has any intention of reading this, my blog hasn’t seen an update in more than a year so why would anyone still be hopeful of me writing anything new now? HA!

Recently I’ve realized how screwed up my life has become... I was just looking through some of the people facebook has deemed I might know, and I noticed all the life successes that are all around me; everyone that I know and could potentially know, has one or more of the three things I noticed I don’t have and, for the most part, are also much younger than I am as well.

I don’t have any sort of successful type of job or anything close to resembling a career, I don’t have any discernible skills or nearly enough knowledge to obtain said job or career, and while I’ve thought about doing trades and Jentrie believes I could, I’ve never viewed myself as having enough energy (among other things) to do something like that.

As well, I’m not married and don’t have anything of the money to get married let alone the confusion of whether I want to spend whatever amount of money on the cultural symbolism I feel is already there.

And lastly but probably most annoyingly, I don’t have any children and have much confusion about that notion as well.

Obviously one thing bleeds into another creating one big clusterfuck; but honestly, recently I feel like a complete and utter failure. If was a rating of where the majority of the masses of people will eventually fall into, and a rating of how one person is doing compared to all of his or her peers, I think right now I wouldn’t even be out of the gate and just realizing it now, after this whole metaphorical horse race was over, like- a month ago.

My whole life I’ve always been behind the eight-ball. Hell, I was three weeks late in being born for Christ sake, but over this entire summer I’ve felt like I’m just realizing the eight-ball has just gotten so far away that it’s- well, it’s just not funny, and now I’m stuck trying to figure out where to go from here, fumbling in the dark like an idiot looking for the goddamn light switch across the room. I’ve always been slower and later than most- ALWAYS, but this is ridiculous, isn’t it?

That last point about children really is something I have mixed feelings about. I don’t know if everyone views it the same way as I do, I’ve always felt it was a kindof culmination of all your life’s achievements up to that particular point. That you should be satisfied enough with your state of being that you would be willing to almost stop progressing in your state of mind for this child or children. I mean, several of my friends and the people I know are starting to have children, and I adore them and the idea that they will experience, or have experienced, the joy that the child will bring them and they will bring the child.

Here’s a conclusion for you!-

I just don’t feel anything more than confused about my life right now. All the ambitions I’ve had are all things that I know without too much doubt just won’t pan out (or frankly, just too long and hard a journey to start now) and are better left to one day become hobbies, but with that said- I don’t know of anything that I would be willing and able to do to get me to think better about where I am right now, what I'm doing, and possibly to become more comfortable with the point in my life.

And without any ideas of where to go from this point, how can I entertain even the possibilities of any of the other ideas?

Iaminyourveins!

G-nome

Time Machines, baby. . . Time Machines. . .

Welcome, welcome my humble disciples... I've come once again to deliver the latest thoughts in my mind- thoughts that are also too pressing to keep to myself...

This particular excerpt is to do almost entirely with coming to terms with the choices I made in a specific time in my life, but although not included, also has to do with the impact that those choices may have had on my life today.

I'm speaking of my time in High School. First of all you probably already know what a colossal epic fail it all was, and how I've dealt with it thus far; but if you've read this far I'll ask you to read on, for this is quite different from those previous opinions.

Reasoning Number 1 : I should have gone to a different High School. I'm in no way blaming the teachers, or former fellow students (or placing blame anywhere other than squarely on my own shoulders.)

I feel the way I learn, and have always learnt, never fit with the way I was taught there. It was an academic school and I learn better visually and tactilely. Nothing wrong with either.

Reasoning Number 2 : I should have tried harder. While I was given a very, very long leash to do my assignments (and even had assignments I simply didn't want to do over looked) I quite simply can't sweep away the fact that I was pretentious and presumptuous child who thought he deserved more credit that what the assignments reflected.

Reasoning Number 3 : I should have gone to my graduation. I'm sure many of you would agree with the previous two more than this one, but I have always had my heart strings pulled when I think on or see something that truly embodies the pride of accomplishment, and the applause that's given after completion.

I won't deny it took me approximately seven years to complete High School- but I'll also make the point that it's all the more reason to want that, and that it has since left a large gaping hole in the character that I put forth in everything I do.

Three simple points that, overall, once again was longer than anticipated. . .

Iaminyourveins!

G-nome

Making a hero. . .

Well I return once more to convey my thoughts and wishes to you, my humble flock...

This time, as I believe is appropriate for the revamping of my testament, I plan to showcase the thoughts and creations that stem from my imagination- well, at least more than I did previously...

So after watching a classic of all comic-based-movies, I'm reminded of a hero I have been trying to develop for some years now (and no, it's not the one about the two guys with the robotic armor, or the one about the freedom fighter in the future with the hover board and smart bombs.)

Really, I'm not sure it matters for this particular scripture- I've just always wondered how a hero is really born. Today's heroes always seem to have the requirement of really feeling real, and with that, almost every hero still seems to conform to classical idealistic points of view. Both of these ideas have always had me confused on how to make characters, and heroes in particular, capitulate to each other...

The two concepts fit together in my mind like oil and water- I mean, if I (or most likely anyone of us) were to be, in any manner, given supernatural powers does anyone believe we would not eventually use them for diabolical purposes? Really can anyone blame us if we did?

If I had the choice between robbing banks with impunity or saving kittens from trees and stopping muggers for glory- fuckin' eh I'd rob banks, we all would and anyone who says different is just fooling themselves...

Really I think there is more than one blockage with the matter, everything I just said, and the idea that with superhuman abilities is an entirely different plain of thought- you know, all that with great power and great responsibility crap.

Conclusion, So- what to do about it? Well even a God's head is better with the thoughts of his congregation. All in all, I think this is actually slightly deeper than I initially set it out to be...

Iaminyourveins!

G-nome

Holy Shit!

Hello hello hello... Echo echo echo...

Welcome back into the graces of G-nome... After 4 years, 2 months, 11 days, and 5 hours- Bow Low and Hail G-nome! is back online!

Now to explain the circumstances of your deity's disappearance; as the people of the Internet might remember Blogger was at some point bought by Google have since tried to adjust all the blogs under the Blogger brand to conform with the other branches of Google that require logins... Well there are some things an idol like myself just simply can't change- I, unfortunately, couldn't make a new account under the Google login to post my scripture and have been cut off from doing so- UNTIL NOW!

Yes, you read that correctly- I am back and going to resurrect this tablet back to its former glory and better...

I have (as I'm sure you have as well) had this doctrine as my home page for all these long years in the hopes that one day I and it would be able to return, and now you all can be relieved and elated to hear that this tone sounds once more.

Iaminyourveins!

G-nome

The Sticky Situation Of Trying To Write Again. . .

Well, you loyal apostles out there, as you have probably deciphered from this posts title- I have tried to get back into writing again and already found certain down-falls to actually writing...

This problem came to my attention whilst I was reading over a previous piece that has since been gathering cobwebs and other aging... Well, I tried dusting it off and reading over what I had already written and slowly it dawned on me that certain sentences and even paragraphs where I had been repeating myself over and over again... This once fairly mediocre writing (which is good for me) had quickly come down from a few pages to a few paragraphs- if that...

Well, I suddenly found myself trying to search out the difficulty I was having, and thereby, be on my way to finding some kind of solution...

This is what I have concluded-

The Problem? (probably among many) - Vocabulary...

The Solution? - ?Unknown?

So this is, once again, where I turn my inquiries to the gallery... My audience... So if you please, some constructive suggestions are in order... I need to build on my vocabulary, and quickly if I'm going to be hopeful to attempt to get anywhere...

Iaminyourveins!

G-nome

Problems And Confusion. . .

Evening all you disciples out there...

Well this week has so far not been kind, and it'll probably get worse before it gets better... My parents showed me the bill for my cell phone last weekend, and let's just say that I shouldn't be using it for anything else than emergencies and important calls from now on... Little did I know all long distance calls were 35 cents each and that the plan was also charging for both outgoing calls and incoming calls...

In addition to all of this, since my cell phone is a 905 number I am also being charged for both 416 numbers and other 905 numbers because of my location... I would hope that my parents had considered the charges for long distance calls and knew that I'd be making many of those, but it seems more like the "big selling factor" for them was that they wouldn't be charged for calls from my cell phone to theirs, and vice versa...

Further problems for me during this week are-- two mid-term tests on Wednesday and one tomorrow... I've already had one on Monday...

I knew something like this would happen when I applied for a college program last may (or whatever)... I guess I had hoped that my courses would be more engaging compared to high school courses...

Perhaps "engaging" is not the word I'm looking for...

In either case, I have come to the conclusion that I am simply not fit for a lengthy educational course... Relatively, from my experience with trying to find a job in Cobourg, I don't believe I am "fit" for a job-- or shall we say the job market isn't fit for me...

Frankly speaking, right now I'm confused... Yes, confused and unsure as to what even my near future holds...

All this being said, I guess even a god needs to ask for advice sometimes...

Got any?

Iaminyourveins!

G-nome